Grateful grateful grateful for the many blessings. Live & love life!

Wake up and breathe in the fresh air (in Manila?) "Isipin mo nalang fresh air yan" Do not underestimate the power of the human psyche. How we respond changes everything, Learn through practice and observation. Negative impulses must be tamed and evaluated, transformed to conscious action.

Choose to be happy. Enjoy the tasks ahead. Radiate the positivity. Aim for a higher purpose. Believe, trust, pray. Give thanks countless times a day and mean it. We live in a big and marvelous place and it's a limited life. There so much to learn. So much to see and experience. Sing, dance.. do whatever feels right. Just LIVE.

Make it worth it, because it is.

And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go? So why don't we go?

-current LSS-

I don't know. If anyone could put some sense to what I'm feeling then I'm sure I'd feel a whole lot better. It's distressing not knowing exactly. Been keeping me awake at night trying to figure out, that is, without considerable enough proof if I may refer to it as such, whether maybe..

Just maybe.. but then again maybe not. It's crazy/difficult how I can't read through you. But how I find it funny all at the same time, despite the fact that its killing me sometimes, is quite a bit ironic. Don't you agree?

Thanks be to GOD! :)

How much longer? It scares me by the minute, the unknown, which is by far the scariest of all the scary things there ever is.

I feel nobody could ever 'get' how it feels like the way that I do. And I feel much more alone. So I keep things to myself rather than let others misunderstand. Quite frankly I do not know which is more depressing, so I choose the one with much lesser complications.

Everything can get so tangled up that I can't even describe how I'm really feeling. But I'm definitely sure He knows. He knows me better than I can ever know myself, I keep silently saying. And with that I rest my case.

I celebrated my birthday just the other day. It's heartwarming how friends and loved ones take the time out of their busy schedules to greet through whatever means necessary. I'm easy like that. It takes an aweful lot of energy to remember in the first place, based on personal experiences, and to put certain thoughts into action is yet another. Haha. So thank you to personalized calendars and birthday alarms. C'mon, there is bravery in honesty. I appreciate the gestures the most, on top of which, live appearances.. haha. Thanks to X, who cunningly concocted a plan to surprise me. Well surprisingly, she did. Haha. Thank you. :) I'm grateful to everyone, my friends especially OBK, family, oh and most certainly, MD. :P

tired. :(

Life's instances can be tricky. Even those that have been carefully planned can leave you with no assurance of perfection. And the very mention of the word makes me shiver, I do not wish to sound irrational or hypnotic. Perfection is a word, an exorbitant figment of one's imagination that can be freely associated, without any form of ridicule, with childish fairytales or to those who are head over heels seriously whacked out sentient beings in love. And my life certainly isn't one hell of a happy tale nor well (?).0.o Though I must admit I am a sucker for happy endings. Mmm.. I could whole heartedly with all sincerity hold it for a moment then revert back to my intrinsically pesimisstic outwardly optimistic self. Come to think of it I could fall just under the seriously whacked out type. *laughs hysterically through a blank stare*

Well anyway, there's this feeling that you get or well I got or still have that I couldn't explain having gone through something I felt I carefully prepared for, both mentally, spirtually and physically. I've exerted quite a considerable amount of time and energy and instituted some form of habit into my already boring lifestyle just to gain that atmosphere of readiness.. (I think, but it's not the strict military kind of discipline that I now feel i should have incorporated. Garshdarnit, there's no use crying over spilled milk now.) I hate to admit that I'm one of the few who feels sorry AFTER things have been said and done. I'm at a loss now.. not exactly sure how to proceed or fill the activity I used to generally know how to do. Not sure if I've given it enough justice. Not sure of how I did. That I may inadvertently let crude instinct win over facts that I let slip. But I have deep faith. And it always ALWAYS helps me get through. Sometimes it's all I have. And most of the time it's all I really need.

Now its time to let the tide take its course no matter how grueling the process may be. It can be unpredictable but it's something I choose to depend on. I wonder how much of a person's life is spent on waiting and how many of the mentioned knew what they're actually waiting for. There's only so much one can do at a certain point, now all I can do is wait.

I hope for this particular chapter of my life to get its happy ending.

This is me anxious. :(

06-18-09

I'm someone who likes to look back.. this is something worth remembering, I believe.

Grrrrrawlll, throwing a fit won't help.